Gorgon Productions International: The Beginning
Saturday, September 13, 2003
What I like about girls' knickers
A good friend Goggs Vear once dubbed me Knickers Nolan and for good reason too. For I have been mildly obsessed with knickers since I was young.
For titillation effect, a girl in knickers will always win out over a girl in the nude. In all the sex I've had, things usually get the most frenetic when I get to the knickering stage. The nude section is just biological, like we could be just out in the bush somewhere like beasts. But to feel the tight lines of sexy knicks drives me spacey.
Let's take a step back a moment and look at the VPL and diaph phenomena, as well as the rise (literally) of the dreaded g-string.
During our sexual emergence in the 80's, there was a smorgasbord of what my buddies and I called "diaph", a shortening of the term diaphanous, which means see-through. Because pastels and light colours were in, and rayon and linen were used heavily by the early Chinese manufacturers, we discovered that the racy knickers of the local schoolgirls could be spotted miles away. This was especially true at weekend public school sporting events, like rowing, where the girls escaped their heavy canvas-like uniforms stipulated by the nuns (who were no doubt frigging themselves silly listening to the footy back at the convent anyway).
Diaph taught you a lot about girls. They were somehow sweeter, yet naughty. I'm sure some of this sent some boys off the rails and led to sexual problems later in life. It was both an invitation and a warning - the ultimate cock tease.
With the girls back in their canvas skirts on the Monday, we all dreamt of x-ray glasses that really worked and went back to jerking off in our bedrooms after Simon Townsend's Wonder World.
The VPL was more of a 90's phenomenon and coincided with the rise of black as the new white etc. Here we boys had a new challenge. Without the assistance of diaph, how could we spot VPL? We did it by getting closer. Yoga emerged, laybacks on bars were all the rage, touch-footy took off, ecstasy use skyrocketed, 360 degree evaluations were adopted by HR, massage enjoyed a come back and people cuddled and felt around for a knicker line day and night. The Levis 501 jean was still in fashion and it was a cinch to spot the pinch and fade of a pair of Lovables on the bum of some Sac girl at the Tunnel or TokH.
But as with anything that is going really really well, there was a sense of unease in the ranks. Something sinister was coming and we couldn't quite work out what it was. It would change our lives forever.
High in the Andes mountains above Rio lived the tribes of the Gipa Gipa region. These were fun loving peaceful people who cared little for modern accoutrements. While visiting in 1996, Ephraim Peebles, the CEO of Bonds Athletic noticed that most of the tribes happily wore a simple string like bikini. He had an idea there and then that would not only spark huge sales of what he called the G-String (after the Gipa), but also have flow on sales of the tight fitting spandex and elastic cottons. Bonds dominated the supply chain for those two products, interestingly.
The G crawled out of the jungles and across the world. Women everywhere were soon liberated from the fear of VPL and diaph as their underwear slipped out of sight and up their bum cracks. Men were devastated in equal amounts. No longer could you see anything. The "data" as we fellers called it, had disappeared from the radar like a light plane over Bass Strait!!
The only consolation is that we are now presented with some of the tightest clothing known to man, but fat chicks beware, have a good look at yourself in the mirror before putting on anything tight.
The other new sport I see emerging is spotting the tell-tale "Y" at the top of girls low cut jeans, but girls, a word of warning. Please dont let your strings go rising up out of the nether regions like they are meant to go over your shoulders!
Only Goggs Vear could ever do that and his record feat still stands! And I saw him do it too, in a funny little pair of leopard skin "Jockettes".
Ha!
Saturday, September 06, 2003
Pusska Nolan
Pusska was born on a sunny day
But she was blacker than black in a funny way
Her meow was loud and unfriendly too
But she was fierce and loyal - we all knew
Her claws wrecked chairs and made a mess
But I let her do it (I must confess)
She woke when Dad did every day
When he made the tea she began to play
Lazy birds were an easy catch
Against the black queen they met their match
Pusska was our gold-eyed cat
Oh I wish I had Pusska back!
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
Yearning and laughing
Underneath Glick's bagels beat forth
Churping with the Ducks of St Roy
When you love football there will be trouble
If you miss the 5.15 to Pakenham
Nigella and the baked salmon orgasmed at once
Near Clarendon Street
A street of desolation and withering Mum's beats
Twenty fathoms beneath Port Phillip Chips
I wonder if the priests say good bye to Darren?
When he waddles from the presbytery
Riddled with ants from watching so much tennis
Are you drunk on biscuits again boy?
Like Latham and Abbott and Costello
Tall sharp Grollo tower transfixes
Yep Dad I'm waiting like stick for Christmas to come
I wanna be there I wanna be there
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
Hi fellers
The plan from here is to each take our chosen piece and get to work, with me as the script coach along the way. Your first piece of homework is outlined in the email I sent to you. I will give out the homework based on what I have learnt, but you have to supply the imagination. Collaboration will just come naturally.
Which story we do is of no consequence at all. Doing it is all that matters.
Noons
Friday, August 15, 2003
GPI Annouces Film Selection Release for 2004
Gorgon Productions International announces its Series A Film Story selection for 2004, a neatly packaged set of 15 ideas for blockbuster movies that will have producers creaming themselves with joy. Rights to these screenplays are available as a full set for US$3 million or as separate pieces at US$300,000 each.
Cotton and Candy
Two fashion gurus engage in a bitter struggle to dominate the women's lingerie market. The industry is a non-stop circus of sex, drugs, champagne, luscious photo shoots and supermodels strutting almost nude down the catwalks. When an unlikely challenger appears with a new approach to marketing and some interesting new designs, the world of knickers is changed forever. The gurus don’t like it and they will do anything they can to stop it.
Half Treatment
In 2033, the use of specially grown human organs and the rise of genetic manipulation have made health care the most powerful industry on earth, dominated by one company, Zoehnerloft. Medicine and health care is accessed only by the very wealthy, but basic medical services can be obtained from questionable backyard operators. When her mother dies during a routine procedure, June Factor begins to uncover some startling truths.
Moe: Pop. 7000
In a post-apocalyptic Gippsland country town, unemployment, drug abuse and violence is rife. Amid the depravity, two sisters decide to organise a talent quest among the townsfolk to stave off boredom, with amazing results. Soon the nation is tuned to this shocking event live on TV and ratings soar. As advertisers scramble to buy space, the violence escalates. The military is called in, but the townsfolk threaten to “blow the town apart” if they intervene. It is reality TV.
A conversation with Satan
After happily being hanged for a terrorist act, an Islamic radical is terrified to discover that there is no glory in the afterlife. Timiboy endures countless tortures and degradation in Hell and his companions include the world’s most evil people. God, in regular meetings with Satan, wonders if he should end the misguided religious belief about the afterlife. Satan convinces him to keep the status quo because “business is booming right now” and because “God owes him”.
Torpedo Punt
In 2008, Les Knarkle is the coach of the LA Roos, the first AFL side to be based in the USA, after North Melbourne folds and is "relocated". Arriving to typical Hollywood fanfare, football is the last thing on the "celebrity" players’ minds. But after a miserable start, the Roos are soon abandoned by the public. Unshaken, Knarkle tries some unusual recruiting for surprising results culminating at the MCG in September, with the world watching and a V.V.I.P in the stands.
Leave me in Poland
An Australian boy in his late 20s leaves to travel the world. En route through Europe, he becomes disillusioned by the hypocrisy of other backpackers who, as middle class children of Western cultures, rarely venture off “the circuit”. Seeking a shift of focus, our protagonist leaves the party islands of Greece for the industrial suburbs of Poland. Now removed from the circus, he seeks out real experiences and people, and in this quest, begins to understand himself.
The Adventures of Wallypuss
A genetic freak as the result of a museum accident, Wallypuss becomes an unlikely superhero. Taking the form and body of a man - but with giant cat paws and claws instead of hands and feet - Wallypuss can climb trees and spring over walls. His cats’ eyes enable him to see in the dark, but he is also scared of water and dogs, makes messes and is obsessed with birds. The story follows his adventures as he prowls through the city, doing good deeds while trying to hide his condition from his friends, his family and the love of his life.
Company Nine
In final months of WW2, a company of soldiers is nearly wiped out by a German attack close to Berlin. The thirteen shell-shocked survivors continue to push forward, but with no-one in command. Now delirious and weak, the soldiers begin to reflect on their lives. For some, such as the young narrator Spence, it is a time for peaceful contemplation. But for those whose loyalty is weakest, it is a welcome temptation to rewrite the moral code.
RSVP
Married with children, successful and fairly happy, James Spidley is turning 40. One morning he is cleaning out of his garage when he finds a box of junk. In the box is the guest list from his 21st birthday. In a flash of nostalgia he decides to invite every one of his guests from 19 years ago - to his 40th birthday. No spouses or partners, just a date with the past. Although his wife thinks he has gone mad, he persists, and one month later 70 people congregate to re-live a night from the past – was it a mistake?
Bunny Rolling
Jamieson Brown is Australia's undisputed “Dog King”. Born into abject poverty in Queensland, he received a greyhound pup as a gift on his 18th birthday, which he trained to be the greatest prizewinner of all time. That dog, Barney Banana, enabled Jamieson to build a greyhound racing empire without peer. The story traces his rise through the often corrupt world of greyhound racing, his struggle to be accepted by society, and Brown’s nagging fear that his success was all due to the dog Australians know as Barney.
Lenny and Leon
An alien craft crash-lands off the French coast during WWII. In the confusion of war, the landing goes completely unnoticed and the two surviving aliens, Lenny and Leon, end up assimilating into the British army, becoming war heroes. Our story starts 60 years later, where our two characters, now running a pawn shop in Notting Hill, are thought simply to be eccentric brothers.
Minute Man
A man discovers the ability to freeze time, stopping people where they stand while he can roam around freely for up to 15 minutes. What does he do? Simply waltz into banks and take money? Does he start doing really weird things, purely because he is free to and no one is around to witness it? Or does he instead use his incredible powers for good?
Under the Marble
In the 1980s, organised crime gangs in Russia, Poland and Italy use extortion, murder and other measures to install the first non-Italian Pope in 450 years, John Paul II. As the Vatican and its supreme patriarch become a front for criminal and terrorist activities around the world, our story centres on a young priest in Rome who uncovers the corrupt empire and tries to expose it.
Giants
A scientific expedition discovers a lost race of about 200 giants found living on a remote tropical island. They have the same physiology as humans, but average 9-11 feet in height. Geneticists, anthropologists, politicians and the military clamour to get access to them. But the giants soon fall prey to unscrupulous promoters and opportunists who sniff the obvious marketing and entertainment possibilities. Dwindling in numbers and now subject to common human diseases only one thing can now save them - escaping so they can rebuild their race.
Onto you
A married couple both find out their partner is having an clandestine affair. Thinking they have the upper hand, each person tries to catch the other person out, not realising that they are being followed themselves. In a 'spy vs spy' scenario, they get closer and closer to catching the other until it all comes to a head one night at a five star hotel both are using for their dalliances.
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
Toronto's grilled hot dogs
Criss-crossed with cuts
Expose the pink spicy flesh
Burn it rough and coarse and salty please
Splash it and swamp it with mustard
The is the best combination
Sitting in a tissue wrapper
Put in some sauerkraut too
She has all the condiments
Freshly made in clean jars
She is polite and people flock to
Her steel cart on the King st corner
She is Polish herself
Pretty blonde locks
She wipes the barbecue heat from her brow
And goes home to Markham tonight
Saturday, August 09, 2003
High up in the wilderness
The rattle of snakes abound
Under the clamouring cumulous
Roger dug underground
Seeing the glass for the first time
Ripping at swathes and at chips
His sisters went keenly to see him
See him immersed in the dips
Roger was bandy legged oh yes he was
The scriptures announced it so clear
Funny that insects robbed dollars away
Sidling the snatch of Mrs Vear
Rubbing with Roger is tantamount
To itching with Reg in Parkdale
Soy sauce from the can and detergent
Were used to unbeach the whale
He dug to China in hours
Announcing the four dams that day
Twenty feet above aptitude
Xiao Ming then whisked him away
